Nowadays you just find a ho you really like and ask her to stop
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Nowadays you just find a ho you really like and ask her to stop
Alyssa states that she is "creeped out" by hobbyist who get the wrong ideas.
But yet, she has a reputation of calling some of her hobbyist customers and holding extended conversations with them on the phone.
And then they try and act surprised when they become attached...
They will never admit it, but some of the women commenting on here want the guys to become emotionally attached.
I would not believe much of what most of the women in this thread are saying.
You can't go 50/50 with no ho
Ok, y'all carry on. I just thought I would bring some humor. Great thread, interesting read. I'll be single forever*sigh*
Ben in response to your quote right here, I am going to leave all the quotes below.....
The guys here are solely focused on sex. That is why I won't date a hobbyist. If I want a relationship, it is not going to be based on sex. But sex is a priority for hobbyists and it is THE priority for hobbyists and as stated in the quotes above, they expect better sex from an escort, they think they deserve some on the side s though it is a fundamental right and if they don't get sex to their satisfaction, they have to resort to paying for it again.
It is NOT about two people who care for each other and are emotionally bound to each other and want to see the best for other person involved because they love and care for that person. It is all about fucking.
That is not a relationship to me.
Loving someone isn't about fucking someone and how much sex you can get out of them or how good it is. It is not about keeping a score card as to how many times you can get a nut.
Supporting someone, loving someone, getting to know someone, accepting their faults and failures and building a life together is what a relationship is about and what should take priority over getting as many nuts as you can with as many people as you can get away with.
That is just the way I see it.
And if I don't deserve that kind of love just because of the job I am in, then I can wait, because frankly, being treated as a sexual object and not being loved for who I am isn't being loved at all.
PARAGRAPHS!!!!! LOL
But anyway, you are a guy who gets it. I am assuming you are a hobbyist cause you are on this board, but you would the kind I would make an exception for, if I were making exceptions, because you understand that relationship are not based on sex.
Having a friendship with a client doesn't equate to a girlfriend when she is having a innocent/friendly/flirty conversation. A few providers actually care about their clients but that doesn't mean they are escalating the boundaries into anything personal. I have several regulars that call me out of concern when I travel but they are single.
First song that came to mind while reading all of this :bouncing:
And I don't know where you came from, but you are like a breath of fresh air. I love your post!!!
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I agree. To be loved and be precious to someone.
Thank you.
Those guys are, at least based soley on those quotes. Not all of us.
Lots of black and white in most of the responses. That's usually a sign of inability or unwillingness to see other views and compromise. And that limitation leads to less successful or failed relationships, and not just the romantic kind (the US divorce rate backs me up on that).
Relationships typically need more than one leg to support it. Love, trust, caring, support, and sex are some common legs. Do you need them all? No. But successful relationships (again, all types) is a numbers game. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. For me, sex is an important element of a relationship (it also has importance when I am not in a relationship!), and while my views are more liberal than many, they aren't liberal enough for some. Since the thread was started by a provider there have been a lot of replies by guys on here. Their presence on OH2 suggests their views on sex (at least within the privacy of this haven) are on the liberal side, and yet apparently not liberal enough (or conversely, need to be more conservative about the hobby when in a relationship with a provider). Maybe if folks pondered that for a bit...
I don't fault you for feeling that way. We each need to decide on acceptable parameters for our romantic, friend, family, and business relationships. I have only been suggesting that it is difficult from a numbers perspective when only one half of the couple is part of a counterculture (whether it should be viewed as one is a separate topic, but for now we don't live in Holland). Think of workers in other counterculture careers if the hobby hits too close to home. Maybe MathGuy can give insight on quantifying it.
Many of the suggestions by guys are their ideas on how it could work for them. I am in no way endorsing the ideas and understand they may not be ok for some/many/all providers. But it is compromise (along those lines or others) which increases the numbers in the potential pool and thus increase your chance of success.
Yes, if you are shopping for a mate in the potential pool of hobbyists. Just like several hobbyists have said they could not ever have an escort girlfriend, I, personally, just wouldn't want a hobbyist boyfriend.
It's funny because we have seen the stereotypes that some of the gents in this thread have applied to escorts, that they are bisexual or going to offer wilder sex, etc. Honestly, when I look back on some of the relationships I have had, I realize it's part of why they failed. There was some misconception that I was going to be some kinda wild sex kitten, constantly horny and ready to fuck anyone at any time, man or women, at the drop of hat. Like it was gonna be a sex party all day, lol.
That is because they were trying to date Chloe Van Katie, but when they actually met ME, lol, they apparently were pretty disappointed (dunno if I blame them, lol). I am a pretty boring person in real life, lol. And this is where I would like to reiterate that it is just a job, it is not real life. The ladies here are some of the best actresses you will ever meet. We sell a fantasy.
Chloe is not who I am.
Not by a longshot.
So if you are trying to orchestrate a compromise with Chloe Van Katie, it won't work. Chloe is not a real person.
I am.
As long as you appreciate the dilemma such an approach creates I cannot take issue with it. The reality is it creates a certain level of imbalance that I suspect most guys cannot get past.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression. In the hobby, your first impression will ALWAYS be as CVK. That is hard for people to overlook or overcome. Same for me. You and every lady on here views me as a hobbyist first and foremost. If we meet or otherwise have dialogue I may become the "_________ hobbyist with __ kids and who wears ____ clothing" but probably not much more than that. On a certain level that is sort of sad, because there are probably some very interesting people in the hobby if we could ever get past their board personas. But it's the nature of the game.
Have you noticed that actors and actresses have the best luck with relationships inside the profession? Must be something about being able to appreciate that it is all fantasy. And while it may be "just a job" to you, I suspect most who have different jobs would struggle to see it that way. Rightly or wrongly it is probably the reality.
While I am confident you can understand and appreciate the bifurcation, can you see how that may be difficult for others?
Anyway, I know where I stand on the various aspects of this thread. I won't :deadhorse: any further.
I hope everyone finds what they desire in terms of relationships. I continue to look, but I broke my rose colored glasses...
So Ebony Jasmine Love said that she believes every man would eventually step out on the relationship anyway.
I don't think that is true, personally. It's the broad brush grand1001 was talking about (I think that is his handle).
I think it would probably be true in a relationship that was based on sex. If it is a relationship based on more than that, I don't think it's fair to say every man would eventually step out on the relationship, because there is more to the relationship. Maybe I am just an optimist that still has my rose colored glasses in my back pocket.
I don't think being a hobbyist defines a man, just like I don't think being an escort defines a woman. I think it is a means to an end that served a purpose in a person's life in that space and time of existence. I can't judge another person for what I am doing myself (I believe that is how Tbone phrased it in his post from earlier).
But as I said before, I really feel like both parties would have to leave the hobby scene to give the relationship a fair chance. But that is my personal opinion.
If someone told me they wanted to leave this hobby and pursue a different kind of life, I don't think I would have any choice but to trust them, because I am planning on leaving at some point too. And for me to reserve judgement against them would be hypocrisy.