I need help to quit

Hey y'all, maybe some of y'all will understand this and some of y'all won't

I lost my virginity to a provider when I was a nerdy kid in highschool that couldn't muster a sentence to a woman.

I've grown and developed past that but I can't stop seeing providers. I'm in a loving, multi-year relationship (which is open so fortunately I'm not hurting her by doing this), but I don't like the relationship with sex that I've developed, you know?

I've tried therapy, I've tried distracting myself with other things but nothing seems to work and I keep coming back to this. It's not a hobby I can afford, my credit card debt is getting pretty bad. I'm pretty sure it counts as a sex addiction.

I need help to quit. I support sex workers and this industry in general but it's turning out awful for my mental health and my wallet and I fear nothing more than it somehow leading to me losing my future wife.

Sorry to unload on y'all.

I can understand why you would post this here. I feel that many hobbyists have probably experienced a version of this at some point as well. Sexual addiction is definitely a real thing. For many of us, it stems from childhood abuse or other factors that shaped our unconscious thoughts and emotions. I think its good that you realize you have an addiction and sorry to hear that traditional methods like therapy or other hobbies haven't helped so far. It's easy to suggest buying a fleshlight or masturbation but it seems to be a deeper issue then just sexual gratification. I think it could benefit you to have a close friend to call when you feel like meeting a provider. Accountability seems to help some people struggling with drug addictions. As you mentioned, you have a loving relationship try to remember that when you feel that urge and remember hobbying is never worth it if you're going to feel bad about the financial implications afterwards.

I wish I had some advice for you, but I don't. I just wanted to commend you on being honest, open, and vulnerable. Sometimes us men have a hard time doing that. No shame in asking for help. I hope you find the answers you seek. Good luck!

I will admit, I see providers because of a porn addiction. Being with someone that will do things that I love to watch, but girls in the "real" world rarely do has kept me coming back. I have a lot of shame issues, and feel like a pervert for indulging. But I don't see providers often, and it hasn't wrecked me financially, so it's not a true problem... yet. I mentioned the addiction to a therapist, and he kinda blew it off.
Have you tried purging? Get rid of any saved phone numbers. Block the websites. If it's harder to get in contact, maybe you can will yourself further away. Or maybe some kind of substitute? When you get the urge, grab a candy bar.
If you're desperate, maybe ask about anti-depressants. They can lower the sex drive (personal experience, but I also actually have depression).
Just some ideas.

I'm on zoloft lol. So that's done.

And yeah, even though my ideology says that there's nothing wrong with two consenting adults doing whatever they want, I feel like a pervert and deep shame every time I see a provider. I always tell myself it's the last time and delete the number/ all contact (which sucks cause I have no references ever).

Idk. I'm trying. Maybe go for a run instead. Get back in shape.

Like fuck man, I'm in an open relationship. I'm bi. I can hook up with literally whoever I want but I keep coming back to this shit.

It's frustrating.

I don’t know what therapy you are talking about but you sound like you need some serious, professional counseling Bro. IMHO, you need to go cold turkey on this hobby and never look back. NEVER!!

Maybe the problem is the anonymity of this. I know I can see women I couldn't date in the real world, and have sexual experiences that would be difficult in the real world without concern of being embarrassed for asking if declined.

Once you have that freedom, it can be difficult to stop - unless you find someone else who is equally adventurous. As one provider said: I can't do civvie sex.

Welcome to Ourhome2 and Hello gentleman I am as well new to Ourhome2 and looking for new friends 😌❤️, let me satisfy your needs and wants😝💦👅,I will make you feel very relaxed 😌 and comfortable....lets have some fun💦😏 Available NOW!🔥💦👅

https://saa-austin.org

A'Man

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Originally Posted by Anandaman

https://saa-austin.org

A'Man

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Thank you so much for this.

I'll be at the first meeting saturday morning

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Originally Posted by Ticotime

I need help to quit. I support sex workers and this industry in general but it's turning out awful for my mental health and my wallet and I fear nothing more than it somehow leading to me losing my future wife.
.

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I sounds like you're in a bad spot. I wish I had some sage advice for you, but I'm not qualified to offer that. Best of luck to you, though.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ticotime

Thank you so much for this.

I'll be at the first meeting saturday morning

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I've had family members in AA. I've gone to my share of meetings as a support person.... and, for myself. As an offshoot, I've also somehow attended a few SAA meetings. The ones I went to many moons ago were actually pretty good and, just the thing when you have a problem with addiction.

A'Man

Have you tried a chastity belt?

Tell the new wife you want to do roll play, without her knowing the real reason..
Buy one, and give her the key bet that will help! You'll come home fully loaded, and will save you lots of money.:twothumbs:

Have you tried Spermatab ER ?
It's a tab you place under your tongue and it gives an extended release of sperm thru out the day.
Just the thought of taking it squashes any sexual desires I might have.